“I don’t want to have to do this again.” That is exactly what I told my friend when I started the last leg of my weight loss journey. I say “last leg”, because, through the years, there have been enough legs on this journey to recast the Radio City Rockettes.

The Endless Cycle of Weight Loss Goals

Since my early twenties, I have always been in some kind of a season of weight loss. Whether that was losing, gaining, or even no movement at all – just simply trying to accept and deal with what the scale was professing. After almost thirty years of that cycle, I just wanted to be done! My brain was so tired of the consuming thoughts and endless inner chatter about my body and what I ate or didn’t eat. I wanted to hit my goal – finally – and never have to think about it again. That is when my goal to lose 100 pounds became my entire focus!

I was so diligent about doing everything correctly to meet my goal. I was on the SkinnyBox® EZ123 fat burn program and did it with the conviction that it was the answer that I needed. And I was right – I worked hard to use this incredible program to lose 100 pounds! Finally, I was at goal! Ahhh, angels were singing, birds were chirping and all was right in my world. Well, for about ten minutes.

When Achieving a Goal Leads to Fear

What now?? I no longer had a goal. What was I supposed to do with all of the real estate in my brain that was once occupied by working toward my goal? What was I going to think about now? Where would my focus be channeled if not on silencing food noise, planning my meals, powering through temptation, or timing weigh-ins? Annnndddd then it happened – all of my thoughts turned into how NOT to gain it back again. If “focus” had moved out, then “fear” had just backed up a U-Haul and began unpacking.

That’s when I realized that I had simply exchanged one goal for another – how to lose it and then, how not to gain it. I didn’t know how to simply exist without working or striving for something. What’s wrong with that you may ask? Well, goals are great and they are necessary modes of transportation on this journey, but they can never be the destination. Why? Because goals are like a car in that they are working, they are driving, they are taking you somewhere. Wherever they take you is the destination and that is where you stay. Ideally, you will want to enjoy living there.

The Shift from Goals to Standards: A Sustainable Approach

So Lisa, if you are so smart, then how do you get to the destination and enjoy “living there” without working at it? I’m so glad that you asked. Your goals have to create a standard. A standard is very different from a goal in that you don’t work to get a standard – you hold it. Goals help us “become”, but a standard helps us to “be”. Let me explain. Losing 100 pounds was actually my destination. Getting the right macros, drinking enough water, and going to bed at a decent hour should have been my goals. And when these goals brought me to my destination, I should have enjoyed “living” there through my new standard – which was the commitment to enjoy a healthy lifestyle. We work through goals, but we hold standards.

Without a standard, we will cycle between losing ground and/or feeling guilty about not working towards something. For example, we will only enjoy the accomplishment of having lost weight if we are continuing to work to lose more weight. Feel familiar? This is why so many have regained weight after hitting their “goal.” Once their goal is gone, they have no idea what to do.

Creating a Standard for Long-Term Viability

No doubt, this takes some rearranging of the furniture in our mind. I am no longer goal-obsessed. I now have a standard. My standard is simple – it is to enjoy things that allow me to have an incredible quality of life for a very long time. In a word, it would be vitality – physically it means strength and psychologically it means aliveness! That is the standard that I hold.

I no longer have goals that can be met or unmet, necessarily. I no longer work to check boxes on the “Did I do good today” list? I just have a daily standard that I hold. That standard involves practicing my faith, prioritizing my diet, staying hydrated, moving my body intentionally, sleeping well, embracing mine and other people’s boundaries, and creating recreational time weekly with people I love. I actually do not even think about these much at all when they come up – I just do them. They are now part of who I am and how I live.

In this part of my weight loss journey (which is maintenance for me), I don’t have a step count goal to meet. I am not working to micromanage my macro goals for this week’s weigh-in. I don’t have a specific number of ounces needed to hit a water goal. These were all goals in the past that helped create the habits that birthed the standard.

The rub in all of this is that holding a standard was the key to the thing I wanted most – “to never have to do it again.” Mark my words, there will never be a weight loss maintenance plan that beats having a standard. Creating a healthy lifestyle is not always easy, but I can think of very little worth more!

Embrace Standards Over Goals for Lasting Success

Do you want to create a standard? Perfect! Then let’s start by getting very clear from the beginning. Take some time to ask yourself these questions and you will be well on your way.

• What is the destination of my weight loss journey?
• What are the goals that will help get me there?
• What is the standard that I hope to uphold that will allow me to enjoy “living” there?

Until next time, remember…you be good to you!